Mood Stabilizing


Confession: When the doctor told me I would find relief within 30 mins of taking my new mood stabilzer, I was like, “yea, ok….that’s what the other doc said about Zoloft….and we now know where that got me.” But he was right-I felt the change within half an hour…hard to describe other than to say “Whoa, so this is what it feels like to be myself again.” I felt…stable. Even with unstable events occurring, I didn’t feel overwhelmed or out of control. I’ve felt a lot of emotions but they aren’t suffocating me like they did before…I feel a lot of things, but sweat isn’t one of ’em. And the best part? The crying, whining, throwing things, not listening, non stop asking questions, normal Toddler Domination and 4yr old shenanigans has become manageable again. Not perfect, but manageable. Still stressful at times but manageable. So I’m starting to Run with the ball again instead of fumbling it. That light I had begged God for two weeks ago? Its beaming right down to where I am on the ocean floor, lighting my path back to the surface. My thoughts don’t race, my mind doesn’t feel frantic… I’m starting to take this motherhood thing in stride again. And man does it feel amazing. So, I’m happy I’m taking them because its giving me the clear head and heart I need to do what I gotta do….and be in a present state of mind to talk superhero plots with Bren and capture moments like this:

 

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