I’m shaking as I type this…my biceps feel like jello…I can barely feel my fingers…I feel weak…sweat has erupted from every pore on my skin, and it’s stinging my eyes, my lips taste salty….I’m nauseous…my thighs are quivering from exhaustion…but I’m happy! I made it through another grueling workout. I silenced any qualms or excuses, and stared dread in the face with each push up, squat, overhead press, curl, jumping jack, crunch, punch and kick I fought my way through.
Working out period has been grueling for me since I started back up again in January, but today was extra rough and the fear real because I knew it was time to stop playing around and feeling complacent with where I was at-It was time to start Level 2 of my “maximum results program” on the Biggest Loser Bootcamp DVD:
Yea, you see that face? You see that man, who looks like he’s trying to kick you? Yup, that’s Bob Harper from “The Biggest Loser,” I’m sure you’ve heard of and seen him before. Yea….I have a love/hate relationship with Mr. Harper. I love his spirit, I love his attitude, I love his drive and ambition to help people change their lives and get healthy, and I love the results you can achieve from working out with him…but I HATE the pain he puts me through, I HATE how he pushes me until I’m ready to puke and my body is about to collapse. He destroys you while he’s building you up, but at least he’s nice about it…that’s why I love him haahahaha. So today, I knew if I did Level 1 again, I would be cheating myself and somewhere, Bob would be shaking his head disapprovingly and saying, “NO A’DRIANE, YOU KNOW BETTER! Take it to the next level, stop being a punk, get to work girl! You can do it!” So despite the fact that I haven’t done this dvd in about 2 weeks (I took a break to start running again-more on that in a min), and I was terrified of the brutality my body was going to have to endure to shed some more pounds, I just couldn’t give in to the fear and excuses-I had to press and so press I did. And it hurt. Hurt like hell. Probably the longest 40 minutes of my life aside from the times I’ve been in labor. Seriously the strength and power exercises in Level 2 have me convinced Bob is a lunatic. But after it was all done, after I got through it, I absolutely loved him for it, and loved myself even more for pushing (and grunting…and crying…and yelling) through the pain.
I’m glad I didn’t give in….I know if Bob had been in my living room with me, guiding me through the workout, I would have hated to see him be disappointed with a lackluster effort, but more importantly, I just didn’t want to disappoint myself OR the 50 men, women and or children I’m raising money for with each pound I shed. When I wanted to quit, I saw myself liking how I looked and being able to fit in my size 8 jeans again. When I thought the burn was too intense I thought about the fact that I have clean water to drink and the 50 people I’m trying to help through my Charity Water Campaign do not-and that would make me just breathe through it. I’m so glad I did.
Speaking of clean drinking water, if you’re wondering what the heck I’m talking about, read my post-Water Weight-it’ll give you the scoop on what I’m doing and how you can help. Before I gained a pound last week, I was at 174. Today I’m at 175.4, but I’m not freaking out-just hitting my workouts harder and watching my portions closer this week. I’ve got 12 more pounds to go and 40 days left to lose em AND raise $800 to meet my goal. Again, check the post for all the info if you’re interested in helping, I appreciate it 🙂
Last thing-I mentioned I started running these past two weeks. I love to run, but a back injury had me sidelined for the past 6 years. Two weeks ago, I came from class, grabbed my iPod, threw on my Nike Shox and hit the pavement-determined to alleviate some stress and shed some pounds. Again, it’s not easy, but I’m glad I did it. My Nike GPS app on my iPod told me my run last Thursday was 3.66 miles and I’m determined to go further tomorrow, because I’ve found my love for it again….
This year I didn’t make any resolutions-just a life-long committment to myself and to God. Part of that pledge includes my physical health. No matter how painful, or how long it takes, for once in my life, I’m taking care of myself. I’m going the distance, and I can’t wait to see the rewards doing that brings 🙂
If you want to know more about Bob (and be scared out of your mind by the dvd trailer on his site LOL), check out his site:
Butterfly Confessions 