” I know that you love me enough to die, and I will try to see, the value that you place on me…and you say I am worthy…You call me lovely, you call me friend, you call me out of death and let me try again, you call me Beloved, you call me clean, and you show me all the beauty that you see…”
I’m so glad that God isn’t like people. I use to think He was…but if there’s one thing He keeps reminding me, it’s that He’s not like people. Others may leave when it gets tough, when it’s too much, when I’m too much to handle, but He won’t. Other people can’t hang in there with me while I work through things…but He does. Others may see the beauty and value in me, but their vision becomes clouded by my struggles, my insecurities, my fears, my humanity, until they act as if that’s all I’m made of and they forget the vision of the real me, the A’Driane undearneath all the crap….but God, He doesn’t forget…He sees through the storms in my life…He sees through the depression symptoms, He sees past my moods, He looks beyond what I’m struggling with now and remembers who He created me to be-He sees me on the other side, refined and purified by the fiery trials, the weathering circumstances of life, and He sees me for who I really am: Beautiful. Worth waiting for. Lovely. A woman with a huge heart who wants to do the right despite the mistakes she makes. A woman who has overcome, who has survived, who struggles but still tries, still holds on to life…and love…and faith. He knows me. He can handle me-the good, the bad, the ugly. His love for me is without pretense and lacks conditions. People may disappoint me, but He never does.
He will never, never, never, fall out of love with me.
And I can’t tell you how much He’s reminded me of that this week…and how grateful I am for Him. It has kept me and given me just enough intestinal fortitude to hold on…it has kept me when I’ve wanted to let go. Without His love, I would not be here. I would have given up this week.
This week has been hell. But His love is helping me through it and teaching me some very valuable lessons.