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I know I’m supposed to be writing everyday, but….it’s like I’ve lost my voice….no, it’s more like I’ve been sucker punched and have had the breath knocked out of me….it’s returning slowly…very slowly…I can’t seem to calm my mind down enough to write like I want to. I don’t want to sound crazy…but I feel crazy…I don’t want to sound like a woman scorned….but that’s how I feel….I don’t want to be angry….but I am….I don’t want to sound sad…but I am…I don’t want to ask questions…but I have a ton….I want to sound hopeful….but I don’t have hope. My hope was taken advantage of…and so it’s gone. I don’t have hope….not in him…not anymore….I was lied to….I was deceived….I was betrayed….I can forgive someone leaving me….but to forgive someone lying to me  is going to take some time….and God’s help….so….for now….I just haven’t settled on any words to really dig into how I feel and what I’ve been experiencing this week. Pain? yes. Shock? yes. Disbelief? yes. The only positive emotions I’ve felt this week is love-from God and those who have shown their support for me this week….and peace-given out in just big enough doses, given at just the right moments to help me sleep for a few hours at a time….and to keep me from losing my mind….so….until the words come….

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