Fear Redefined


Today I experienced fear in a very real way. I thought I knew fear, what it felt like, what it was to experience it, but after today, my definition of what fear is has been obliterated into nothingness…and all that remains is the cold, harsh reality that try as you might as a parent, you can’t protect your kids from everything…

I don’t have all the articulation necessary to convey what happened-not right now. I’ll try to give a proper voice to what I experienced as a mother today-tomorrow, or the next day-when the stark reality has blurred around the edges of my memory and lost its sting….

Tonight I will just lift my eyes to the One who always holds and comforts me when I’m vulnerable, my Father who covers me when my emotions are raw and exposed to the cruelty life can bring…Tonight I lift my eyes and my voice in gratitude to the One whose name left my lips in a panicked prayer the instant fear and hopelessness began to seize my being. Tonight I’m just so grateful to God fear didn’t win and that my son is still here-I’ll never take him being on this earth or the fact that I’m his mother for granted ever again….Until tomorrow….

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